Dylan Schear in the Aug. 28 (year yet to be id'ed) Tahoe Daily Tribune:
" Now mind you, I am not one to inhabit the grave. But, as of late it has been more frequent. When I sit by the headstones of the departed and ask a very specific questions of them, I get answers to my questions. I start by treading lightly and asking for a sign that they know I have visited them. As time passes, my questioning will get more intense.
"On this particular day I was off to my mother-in-law's grave with a few stops along the way, one of which was to get gas at Costco. After gassing my car, I noticed a woman who drove by. I peered into the car and I swear she looked like my mother-in-law. I even wondered if it could have been her sister. However, the lady who was driving was very old and I wondered if I imagined the whole thing.
"Off I went until I reached the mortuary and found where she was buried. With flowers in hand, I sat down beside her and told her that I had come to visit. I felt she was talking to me and wanted to hear my husband, Blythe's, voice. So, I did exactly what she wanted. I pulled out my cell phone and called him.
“'Hey, Blythe,” I said. “I'm sitting by your mother at the grave. I'm going to put you on speaker so you can talk to her.'
“'Hello, Mom,” he said. 'Mom, if you know that we are here please give us a sign. Please let us see two green Volkswagen Bugs.'

LaffyTaffy

Today's note from college chum Larry Spears, now of Pollock Pines CA

In 1988 I think I went to Brazil.  Stayed with Carlos and Marcella, who had lived with me in Berkeley for a year.  You met them, and Vona met Marcella's mom, Betty Danon.  Just to set the story.  The next year, Carlos and Marcella invited me to Carlos's home in Brazil.  They were amicably breaking up at that time. Marcella and I decided to visit a 1700s Portuguese town an overnight bus trip away, Oro Preto.  I think you've seen a picture I took there of a distant cathedral in the rain.  .......  Well, we got there and I jumped into a window well of another cathedral to avoid heavy rain, and about a minute later a handsome, smiling and cheerful guy, Ariel Sikorsky, an Argentinian psychiatrist, jumped in as well. He spoke only Spanish, I only English, but using common references and pass a pyhrasebook back and forth allowed us to construct a conversation in which we would actually get laughs........... 
So when it was time to meet Marcella, I invited him along.  And when I saw the look on her face when we appeared, I knew I would be traveling alone the next few days.  ...... I went on to Belo Horizonte (sp?), a big city, to get some gifts for the family....two days later, Marcella and he showed up, and the three of us spent a day, and that night Marcella and I caught a bus back to her home.....it was raining hard, and I was dozing when Marcella touched my arm, and she said, "You know, you are more than a father to me."  I still treasure that moment.  And it taught me something in words I had not used before......your kids can be your friends.  they sbould be your friends.  Nothing profound, but something to let sink in.  And it sunk in, and has been part of me since.  The 1980s were altogether the worse decade of my life, but they eventually brought me three daughters along with a son, four grandchildren and a great-grandchild.  And a wife.  You never can tell.

   One thing I don’t talk about much is my tremor.  You’d think it would be one of the main conversation themes with friends and relatives, but I guess people view something like a tremor is one of those off limits subjects like a noticeable disfigurement. 
   The first time I talked about it with a physician, I mentioned that my mother had it and it got worse in her old age when she could barely hold a coffee cup or light a cigarette.  He nodded in recognition and wrote"familial tremor" down on my medical record.  Once he put me on a beta blocker for blood pressure with hopes that it would also reduce my tremor but a week later I landed in ER with an acute asthma attack.  He apologized for not noticing asthma on my chart and returned me to a diuretic.